The not-so-old man and the sea

Journalists recently got a flotilla of pictures emailed to them of Environment Minister Carwyn Jones fishing for sharks (I think for scientific purposes) on board a boat off the Welsh coast.
How very Hemingway. But Carwyn's macho image was shattered by an offical today.
Earlier this week he scaled Snowdon to land the first blow on the summit-top cafe as it is demolished to make way for a new visitor centre.
Sledge-hammer wielding Carwyn had some difficulty though. His efforts "hardly scratched it", we were told.

Taking the peace

A press release from the NASUWT advises us that schools will observe Peave Day next Thursday. An event in Cardiff to mark the occassion will be attended by "Christian Malcolm (Welsh 200m runner), Rhodri Morgan (Education Minister), John Mayes (NASUWT senior vice president)".
Education Minister Jane Davidson is said to have a good relationship with the teaching unions. But it seems this one does not even know who she is.
Either that or Rhodders has had a sudden demotion.

September 18

I feel I should point out that the below-mentioned meeting of Welsh Labour MPs has been called off, so my colleagues at the TUC in Brighton are told.

Shalalala putsch putsch

The pesky Welsh Labour Party has been at the forefront of the attempted Blair putsch.
Formerly uber-loyal Chris Bryant organised the letter telling the PM to go.
Government aides Wayne David, Ian Lucas and Mark Tami – all Welsh MPs - heaped pressure on Mr Blair with their resignations.
On September 18 Welsh Labour MPs will meet in Wales. Although convened initially to talk foreign affairs, the leadership is bound to come up.
In fact the two issues are the same for some. In August Merthyr MP Dai Havard called Tony Blair "deluded" if he thought he had any influence over George Bush. He wrote to the Prime Minister about Lebanon and accused him of a "misdirected obsession" with being a mouthpiece for Washington. Mr David said the Prime Minister showed himself to be "detached" from the Party over the summer in his dealings with Lebanon.
Labour AMs also meet the week after next, the first week of the Assembly term, at a pre-arranged away-day.
More and more in Labour think – as First Minister Rhodri Morgan suggested earlier this year – that the party will do better at next year's Assembly elections if Gordon Brown leads them into the May 3 poll.
Newport West MP Paul Flynn told me: "It goes right across the Labour MPs in Wales, this unhappiness.
"A group of Welsh MPs saw Tony Blair in June and he said to us, 'what
seems to be the trouble guys', and the first three of us who spoke said,
'You are the trouble'."
The received wisdom is that Mr Brown is more in tune with the agenda pursued by Rhodri and co.
They won a slim governing majority in 2003 under Mr Morgan's “clear red water” banner. As Tomos Livingstone says in today's Western Mail, that essentially meant: “Look, we're not Tony Blair”.
With Brown at the helm, Welsh Labour probably see electoral profit in ploughing a similar furrow next year.
I'm not sure this will keep the Tories at bay in the vulnerable Labour seats of Cardiff North, Preseli Pembrokeshire, Clwyd West and Aberconwy. But the imperative now is to end the squabbling as soon as possible - no more "noises off" Rhodri Morgan says. Keeping these seats, and allowing Mr Morgan to stay in office until 2009 as planned, will be difficult enough without an ongoing leadership crisis of his parliamentary colleagues' making.

ALSO Is the Christmas card story below something to do with Dr Who?

Internet sabotage

A funny story was pointed out to me on the Western Mail's website today (see below). I suspect internet sabotage.
The substance of the events within the story are not unusual though - getting spotted on telly while signing your Christmas cards in the Assembly chamber - as Lib Dem AM Jenny Randerson knows.

ALSO: This website is utterly bonkers.


----------------------------------------------------------

Working hard Minister?
Aug 18 2006
Staff Reporter, Western Mail

LABOUR AM and Development Minister Matt Nichols was today hiding his embarrassment after cameras caught him writing Christmas Cards during an Economic debate. Minutes after the First Minister began outlining economic targets for Mr Nichols North Wales Constituency, he pulled a set of Charity Cards from his briefcase and began to add his signature and several jaunty messages.
Pictures from a member of the public clearly show him adding a beer glass to a Snowman Christmas Card and a "Nadolig Llawen" speech bubble to a Fat Santa Claus.
Mr Nichols didn't deny the incident and stated through his office that he had more than 600 cards to send this year and that as he had already read the First Minister's speech he was using his time efficiently.
Tory AM Mark Meldrum condemned this breach of protocol as "making a mockery of the debating chamber".
Mr Nichols constituents were far from happy.
Mrs Jones of Bala commented that he should be ashamed of himself and wondered haw he hoped to halt the economic decline of North Wales if he was busy writing Christmas cards.
Labour Press Officers made light of Mr Nichols Christmas Feelings, hinting that criticism was rather scrooge-like.
Yet as the costs of running this fully transparent Debating Chamber come under scrutiny, this comes as yet another hit of unemployment rates hit an all time high in the city of Cardiff.

Caravandal

Not blogged for a while. Holiday time. When Rhodri Morgan goes on holiday he stays at his caravan in Mwnt on the west Wales coast.
Another happy camper says it's easy to find Mr Morgan's caravan because "it's the scruffiest one on the campsite".

Pull yourself together Morgan for God's sake

I met Rhodri Morgan's big brother Prys at the National Eisteddfod yesterday. Lovely chap. Told us about his family history.
He said the MP Tom Ellis once described an old relative of theirs as the finest political speaker outside the House of Commons.
Morgan senior said he gave Rhodri these gentle words of advice when he was a very nervous newly-elected MP: "'For God's sake,' I said. 'Pull yourself together. Remember what Tom Ellis said'. That gave him a lot of confidence when he went into the House for the first time."

Clamp down on Morgan

Rhodri Morgan got clamped last night while supping at the Pen and Wig, Cardiff. He managed to talk the clampers into releasing him, pleading with them that he thought he was parked in the patrons' car park.

The clamping did not involve his chauffeured first ministerial car, but his personal people carrier which, another Pen and Wig patron told me, "looks like a minibus".

Such a vehicle will be needed to transport the growing Morgan tribe. Mr Morgan probably popped in for a pint to celebrate the birth of his newest grandchild - his sixth in six year.

Are we nearly there yet, Sam?

The Government of Wales Act stopped being a Bill and became an Act this week. Peter Hain and Rhodri Morgan were very pleased and threw a party in the Assembly to celebrate.
Far more interesting than the speeches by Mr Hain, Mr Morgan and Lord Elis-Thomas (about Mr Hain, Mr Morgan and Lord Elis-Thomas) was the guest list.
The usual political hangers-on attended. But so too did Cardiff City's charismatic chairman Sam Hammam. I didn't have time to ask him if he thought Mr Hain was right in his assertion that the Act settles the constitutional wrangle over devolution for ever and ever and ever Amen.
For the record, I don't. Although it means Wales will pick up a long-overdue Scottish-style parliament after a referendum, it doesn't say when that referendum will be. It will need the agreement of the Welsh Secretary, Parliament and two-thirds of AMs before it can be put to the people - but as far as I can tell Assembly Ministers can call for one whenever they want.
Labour say there is no demand for one in the country yet. Cue ceaseless squabbling about when the time is right.

Look what you've done

The mood at Labour AMs' end-of-term summer party - to which I was not invited - was “reflective”, I'm told.

Please release me

I get hundreds of press releases every week - most of which make me weep with boredom. But this one, from the Assembly Government, brightened my afternoon.

"Breakfast Clubs are The Best, amazing, bendigedig, fantastic and good for children ".....................says Connor Summerwill ( age 8) from Ysgol Gynradd, Trallwen, Swansea.

Connor was so chuffed with his free breakfast, he wrote to FM Rhodri Morgan and Education Minister Jane Davidson to say "cheers", and invited them round for some Frosties. The heart-warming and not-in-any-way contrived dispatch continues ...

Connor has also written a story of a boy who couldn't get out of bed for school. The tale has a happy ending as "young Rhodri " starts attending a breakfast club ... and his life is transformed.

In his reply to Connor's letter the First Minister wrote "I love stories and I really enjoyed reading The Kid Who Would Never Get Up For School."

And today I winced with excitement when one popped into my inbox that read: "DAVID DAVIES REVEALS DISAPPOINTMENT AT EURO EXIT". What's this? The Tory MP for Monmouth berating his leader's new EU alliance? Sadly not ...

Commonwealth gold medal winning swimmer David Davies has today revealed his disappointment at the prospect of missing out on the opportunity to clinch a podium position at the European Championships later this month (26-30 July 2006).

Talking 'bout my generation

Lots of talk about energy generation today.
Pedants will know the Government is getting ideas above its station if it thinks it can generate energy.
The amount of energy in the universe is constant. It can merely be used to create electricity.

It's getting hot in here or My thermometer is bigger than yours

In the bleak mid winter AMs complained they were too cold in the Assembly's new chamber. One threatened to take her football scarf in as a sign of protest.
Now they are too hot. Something of a competition seems to have broken out about how hot it actually was in the Senedd during the recent heatwave.
Lib Dem AM Peter Black blogged that it was 28C.
But the highest yet comes from Tory AM William Graham. "Twenty-nine my thermometer said. Perfectly horrendous."

Kev's Karaoke Kings

Public standards champion Sir Alistair Graham has advised the Prime Minister on dealing with his deputy.
But Sir Alistair got some light relief from these weighty matters of state when the body he chairs, the Committee on Standards in Public Life, took evidence from First Minister Rhodri Morgan on the Electoral Commission in a Cardiff hotel today.
Mr Morgan kicked off proceedings with this little ice-breaker: “The last time I was in here was for a knees-up.”
Said 'do' was for the wedding of the brother of the FM's successor as Cardiff West MP, Kevin Brennan.
Not for the first time I struggled to follow the FM's thread, but the party involved a karaoke-related altercation whereby the talented Brennan clan outsang its guests.
Eventually, Mr Morgan said, someone cried: “Isn't there anybody in the Brennan family who can't sing?” The public must know.
Recounting the bizarre story must have been a nice diversion for Mr Morgan from stories such as this which abound in the press today.

Bye bye Blaenau Gwent

Farewell to the Blaenau Gwent by-election campaign.
Independents Dai Davies and Trish Law thumped Labour in a surprising double victory.
They took up their seats in Westminster and the Assembly yesterday – and their welcomes could not have been more different.
Mr Davies's entry to the Commons was reportedly greeted with Labour cries of “There's a traditional socialist” and “Enjoy it while you can”.
Meanwhile new AM Mrs Law, who took up her seat exactly 10 weeks after it was vacated by the death of her husband Peter, was applauded when she strolled into the Senedd chamber.
AMs appeared to be climbing over each other to welcome her. Deputy Presiding Officer John Marek sent out a notice advising hacks that he would be “on the front steps. (Not Senedd)” at 11am to meet Mrs Law.
Not wanting to be outdone, his boss Lord Elis-Thomas fired off an email 30 minutes later announcing he would be “on the steps of the Senedd at 1.45” to escort the new AM into plenary.
How ironic that her arrival now gives the Assembly more female than male members. It was a row about an all-women shortlist that prompted the late Mr Law to leave the Labour Party in the first place.

What England wanna do right, is replace their entire strike force with Colwyn Bay girls under-12s

Bad luck to England.
Welsh Sports Minister Alun Pugh promises he was not supporting Portugal during the nail-biting penalty shoot out. Not that you would want his advice on footballing matters - on Saturday Colwyn Bay girls under-12s put five spot-kicks passed him.
These children were of course the offspring of potential voters in his ultra-marginal Clwyd West seat. Did Mr Pugh perhaps let the girls score lest their Mums and Dads withhold their votes if he leapt like a be-gloved salmon and saved their efforts?
No, says he, because they were "all in the bottom corner. I couldn't get near them."

Would the last Conservative in the Assembly

Bizarrely a Tory-tabled amendment placed before AMs in the Assembly yesterday got only one vote in favour. Why would the Tories abscond on one of their own motions, leaving North Wales AM Mark Isherwood as the only Conservative to vote in favour?
I think I can shed some light on this. Mr Isherwood was, a Tory AM told me, "the only one paying any attention". Frightening.

Trust the First (Minister)

Go here and click on Rhodri Morgan's link. Someone has tampered with it, and anyone in dire need of the First Minister's biography will instead be encouraged to gamble away their Euros at a German online casino, like a Premiership footballer who, bored in Baden Baden, finds himself with too much time on his hands between Ecuador and Portugal. He fancies his chances.
Who is responsible for this internet sabotage? I swear I never did nuthin.

Brian's button blunder

"It's just as well Wales isn't a nuclear power," one of Tiger Tales' growing army of readers writes.
"Because Brian Gibbons might have just started World War III."
Our correspondent refers, of course, to Brian's button blunder in the Assembly chamber yesterday.
AMs cast votes by pressing a button on their desks. It's very confusing. One button is red and the other is green.
And sadly poor old Dr Gibbons, the Assembly Government's Health Minister, had the misfortune to press the wrong button yesterday.
He was voting on an opposition-tabled demand for a public inquiry into the ambulance service.
The Government, which opposed the idea, would have won the knife-edge vote and torpedoed the inquiry had all Labour AMs pressed the right button.
But they didn't, and thanks to his unwieldy digits Dr Gibbons became the first politician I know of to trigger an inquiry into himself by pressing the wrong button.
When I caught up with him I asked if he was embarrassed. "What do you think?" he replied.
One minute he was angrily denouncing an inquiry into the beleaguered ambulance service. The next the minister was sheepishly admitting his mistake to the rapturous applause of opposition AMs.
But he wasn't the only Labour AM to get it wrong. An Assembly Parliamentary Service spokeswoman said Jane Hutt, Dr Gibbons's predecessor as Health Minister, did not vote at all.
Never mind. At least the Government can stuff the inquiry with a yes man and hope for a white wash.
Hang on. They can't do that either because the Labour AM for Swansea East, Val Lloyd, voted against her group on a separate amendment to create a cross-party panel to choose the inquiry's chairman.
Perhaps Dr Gibbons was dazed by the stunning beauty of Catherine Zeta Jones who he met earlier in the day. She was in Cardiff to visit a children's hospital.
This isn't the first time people have voted the wrong way I understand. But Presiding Officer Lord Elis-Thomas is always quick to dismiss complaints about the voting system. I think it's fair to say he has more faith in the computers than he has in some of the politicians elected to use them.

Not at this address

AMs should this week receive invitations from Welsh Secretary Peter Hain to his summer reception on July 25.
However the invitations have been put in the wrong envelopes.
Rhodri Morgan's has gone to Lib Dem AM Peter Black while, we're told, Mr Black's has gone to Tory AM Glyn Davies. Plaid AM Dai Lloyd was shocked to find an invitation for Brynle Williams when he opened his.
"Maybe it’s fancy dress and you have to come as the person whose invite you receive?," a Lib Dem source says.
Sadly not. The Wales Office says it's a "clerical error".
I'm reminded of the Tory MP who sent me a Christmas card postmarked January 2006.

Quango bonfire 'out of control', admits Morgan

This is the last one. I promise.

Morgan responds quickly to sighting of Tony Blair on Severn Bridge

First Minister: Clear Red Water this is.

(Thanks to one of Tiger Tales' many thousands of readers for this alternative caption to this wonderful piece of photojournalism)

Morgan finds solution to smoking ban delay

First Minister: Oi you, put that fag out in my Wales.

Politics is rubbish

Blaenau Gwent is preparing for by-elections following the death of its immensely popular independent AM and MP Peter Law. Labour hopes of regaining the former stronghold were boosted by the first poll in the constituency. It shows people are considering splitting their vote – voting for Mr Law's widow Trish (who is running as an independent for the Assembly) AND Labour Westminster candidate Owen Smith (the lobbyist for pharmaceutical giant Pfizer who hopes to fill NHS founder Aneurin Bevan's old seat).
Having followed both candidates around Ebbw Vale market in the rain, I got the impression that a lot of people were considering voting both ways. But a split ticket will probably become less likely as the campaign drags on.
The election will be both an interesting test of Labour's popularity vs. the-name-of-the-Law, and an opportunity for Rhodri Morgan to regain his Cardiff Bay majority. But such lofty politics turns on the earthiest of issues. The most pressing concerns I heard up there involved the lack of “ash men” (local parlance for refuse collectors) in Aberbeeg.

Morgan's hair-brained scheme

AMs are being encouraged by the Liberal Democrats to donate books to a charity auction. They will be sold to raise money to buy cows for a school in Lesotho. Welsh Lib Dem leader Mike German says his Tory counterpart Nick Bourne has offered to sign a copy of Das Kapital. But Rhodri Morgan has donated Haircutting for Dummies. The book offers tips on “Spreading your Farah Fawcett-like wings”. This picture illustrates why the hirsute First Minister might find value in such a volume.