Peasantly surprised

I love this picture of Tory AM William Graham which he puts on all his press releases. It's the kind of pose an older David Hasselhoff might strike.
For some reason my computer has deemed emails from Mr Graham's office 'SPAM'.
His latest release notes his concern that from next year UCAS will ask university applicants if their parents have a degree. The UCAS form already has - or at least it did when I filled it out in 1998 - a question about the applicant's parents' occupation. I know someone who satisfied this query with the answer "peasant".

Keep it brief ... most of the time

In her defence yesterday, Lib Dem AM Eleanor Burnham - who was ticked off for referring to the Japanese as "Japs" during an Assembly debate - said Britons are sometimes called Brits. Fair enough. But that maxim on brevity being the soul of wit is not one I would advise following in such matters. We can only thank God that when Ms Burnham enunciated her ill-advised abbreviation AMs were not discussing Pakistan.

Union of the snake

The SNP could finish ahead of Labour as Scotland's biggest party in May, yet still fail to form a government. They will lack the numbers for a majority and it could be that the Lib Dems will not want to help them into office because of the SNP policy on independence.

In a piece on the health of the Union, the Times's Peter Riddell says that would “well suit” SNP leader Alex Salmond, allowing him to “play the part of the aggrieved victor”.

Depressing. Frankly dignity in opposition is a pretty crap consolation prize for floating voters - in this case floating voters who might, heaven forfend, back the SNP because they think it will give them better schools and hospitals.

With a charismatic leader at the helm - say an Alex Salmond or a Dafydd Wigley, who can unite the coalition of pragmatists and romantics identified here by Dafydd Elis Thomas – party members might temporarily overlook the power/independence dilemma.

Facing the electoral reality that there is no appetite for independence here in Wales, the Plaid leadership has kicked the issue into touch. Party leader Ieuan Wyn Jones wants to convince voters he has a plan for government and the ability to deliver it. There is no mention of the I word in Plaid's Change for the Better document, published this week. The document aligns itself with Aneurin Bevan and Lloyd George: radical, reforming politicians who got things done while in government.

I'm sure I am reading too much into the booklet's omission of Plaid icons like Gwynfor Evans. Plaid's Cardiff HQ – Ty Gwynfor – is named after him. But there is no mention of him when readers of Change for the Better are invited to send the party their policy ideas. They are told to direct their contributions to “The Policy Development unit, Plaid Cymru, 18 Park Grove”.

In marginals Cardiff North and Llanelli, the two opposition candidates in pole position are existing AMs migrating from regional lists – Tory Jonathan Morgan in Cardiff North and Helen Mary Jones for Plaid in Llanelli.
Plaid's two big hopes in the north – Dafydd Wigley on the list and Gareth Jones in Aberconwy – are former AMs.
David Davies is standing down in Monmouth to be replaced by Nick Ramsay. He probably spends more time in the Assembly than Mr Davies anyway because he works here.
As does Nerys Evans, who takes over from HMJ for Plaid in Mid and West Wales.
Gareth Hughes made a good point on Waterfront last night. With the outcome of May's Assembly election hinging on only a handful of seats, there will be very few new faces in the Assembly, even if there is a new government.

Yes I know. Haven't blogged for more than a month. Terrible.

Does anyone think that this idea of policy proposals is cheating? Plaid and the Lib Dems were at it this week. It seems that if you don't like a policy idea then you can have it booted out of the manifesto like a loud-mouthed allegedly racist contestant on Celebrity Big Brother.
It used to be the case that if you didn't like a party's policies then you didn't vote for the party. It remains to be seen whether this attempt at participatory manifesto writing will reinvigorate our worryingly apathetic society, or whether the ever-earlier onset of election campaigning will prove to be the electoral equivalent of a very comfy bed.

Wobbly Wyn Jones holds firm

This is the epithet that Tory AMs have given Ieuan Wyn Jones.
They accused him of caving into Plaid AMs who fear being closely aligned with the Conservatives.
Sadly I fear the self-defeating irony of that is lost on most Tory AMs.
Ieuan got all angry at his press conference today.
While he was saying accusations of a wobble were “absolute nonsense” he reached across his desk to pour a glass of water.
It was a full bottle and a potentially tricky manoeuvre.
I paid close attention to his hand as he did so and can report that he held firm – did not spill a drop.

I will exterminate the Arts Coucil

Alun Pugh's ambition to control public arts funding was dealt a blow this week. A review by Elan Closs Stephens, commissioned by the Assembly after a defeat for the minority administration, said Mr Pugh should temper his ambition.
It proposes a "dual-key strategy board". It's the classic Welsh solution to a problem - form a committee.
Mr Pugh has had an unbelievable amount of flack about this. So when I found myself sat next to him at the ITV Wales politics award on Wednesday night I asked him for a scoop. What was he going to do with the Stephens report?
He responded by putting his hands behind his head and, in the voice of a Dalek, said: "I will exterminate the Arts Council, I will exterminate the Arts Council." Almost put me off my dinner.

Taking the Mick

The Presiding Officer will deal with Mick Bates in the chamber next week, I'm told. Meanwhile, I had forgotten about this.

Spotted

Who is Lib Dem AM Mick Bates directing this gesture at?

http://guynewstv.blogspot.com/2006/11/welsh-politician-gives-speaker-finger.html

Euphamism watch

Here is a delightful example of how to combine political doublespeak with the British gift of making the best of a bad bunch.
On creating a "low-carbon economy", the Assembly Government's science policy, published today, says: "The geographical location of Wales means that it benefits from extensive marine resources, a high-wind regime, significant opportunities for forestry and energy crops and substantial rainfall."
In other words, the weather's sh!t.

Mandate with destiny

Fascinating comments by Captain Morgan in the chamber yesterday.
Pressed on how the new devolution settlement will work, he said Parliament will not simply “rubber stamp” all applications for law-making rights forthcoming from the Assembly.
Heads were already being scratched when the FM rose for questions yesterday, following Dafydd El's ambitious prophecy that the Assembly will make 18 such applications a year.
Interpret his words as you will. Perhaps Rhodri is trying to put the frighteners on the Lib Dems, saying that a coalition with Labour would give a better quality mandate - to use his phraseology - than the mandate of a Rainbow coalition.
The First Minister said: "When you put something you must show that it has been in your manifesto. You must show that manifesto has been supported in getting your majority here.
"Of course if it was a coalition government it would be manifestos I suppose.
"But really it's the quality of the mandate because that's what gives the authority to this body to say to Westminster this is what the people of Wales want."
He added: "We are absolutely clear that Parliament isn't going to simply rubber stamp every application that comes from this body."

Spotted in the Senedd

Less than a year old and shortlisted for design awards and it's already time for cosmetic surgery.

One in the eye for English

As a trainee journalist I once wrote a piece so overburdened by intellectual ambition that my tutor said it made him want to stab himself in the eye with a knitting needle.
In other words, keep it simple. It's the best advice I ever had.
The lesson sprang to mind this week when Labour AM Denise Idris-Jones made an interesting speech about culture - interesting, but there's a prize for anyone who can tell me what this means: “We use quality as our yardstick. We use it to evaluate the present and frame the future.”
Welsh culture is apparently essentially "quality based". I beg to differ.
Devolution has provided an outlet for some particularly odious jargon. Without doubt the best, or worst, example of this, and possibly the most heinous crime to befall the English language, is contained within the Welsh Baccalaureate. Its maths component is called "Application of number". I suggest the person who concocted this sentence undergo a course called "Application of knitting needle".

Has Environment Minister Carwyn Jones got a photographic memory?

He has just recited his route to a quarry in Wrexham in astonishing detail to prove to Plaid AM Janet Ryder that he had been there, eliciting a round of applause from the Labour benches.

Perhaps it was one of those "you had to be there moments", but it was quite the most bizarre episode I have seen in the Assembly.

Meanwhile the below mentioned row between Dafydd El and John Marek spilled over into the chamber in what was quite the most embarrassing episode I've seen in the Assembly.

But both episodes are outdone in both regards by what I'm told happened in the Commons today - Jack Straw mime-hugging a hoodie.

Did I dream it?

On Tuesday, Presiding Officer Lord Elis-Thomas used his casting vote, in accordance with standing orders, to sink the Government's business statement because a vote of AMs was tied 29 all.
But he did so “with a heavy heart”, he said. Or I, and others, thought he said it.
A quick glance at the Record of Proceedings, the political equivalent of the Beano, shows the comment to be omitted.
How strange?
Is this another example of him falling out with his party over its conduct on the Assembly budget. Or perhaps I dreamt the whole thing.

Update: Dr Marek is not happy.

Where W treads, Rhodri dreads to follow

Not blogged for a while - been on half-term holiday, which I spent observing the run up to America's Congressional elections while visiting a friend in New York.
The bile which American candidates hurl at each other is astonishing. The defamation laws of this country would not allow it.
However, I was interested to note the average American is frankly fed up with the attack advertising. Many of them say they can't be bothered to engage with politics, or bothered to vote, because for them, politics merely amounts to a stream of very expensive television adverts in which politicians do their best to out-dis each other.
That sort of conduct doesn't prosper over here. Michael Howard's denunciation of Tony Blair as a liar flopped at the last general election. This despite the fact that many, if not most people, feel the Government was economical with the actuality when it presented its prospectus for war. We prefer – or at least say we prefer - our politicians to abide by the political equivalent of the Queensbury rules, not Fight Club.
And American politics has opened up a new dirty battle front – Wikiactivity. Candidates' staff log on to open-access encyclopaedia Wikipedia and doctor their opponents' entries. The New Yorker calls it 'astroturfing' – a phony grass-roots campaign.
Democrats are racing to victory because voters are using the election as a mid-term rebuke of George W Bush and his increasingly unpopular war.
Will Welsh voters do the same when they go to the polls in May? Rhodri Morgan must fear that they will. He said Labour failed to regain Blaenau Gwent earlier this year because voters "were angry about everything from pot holes to Iraq".

Offer them out

Why are commentators describing the Tory tax commission proposals as an inconvenience for David Cameron and George Osbourne?
The New Conservatives learnt more from New Labour than the route to the electorally fertile centre ground.
They learnt that the best, indeed the only way to shake up your party is through picking a fight with the traditionalists and winning.
I would say Mr Osbourne is relishing the prospect of another bloody good punch-up. The more opportunity he has to repeat his 'no tax cuts, your public services are safe with us' mantra the better for him.

Anyone trying to phone Tory AM Glyn Davies will encounter some difficulty today. I'm informed that he has "lawnmowered his mobile".

"The worst website of its type anywhere in the world"

The Assembly's website is undergoing a long-overdue revamp and I was among some scribblers shown dummy versions of the spruced-up site.
They all look very nice, but frankly a child with a box of crayons could concoct something more aesthetically pleasing than the present offering. Scott had less trouble finding his way around Antarctica than I have finding my way around this most unnavigable of on-line labyrinths. "The worst website of its type anywhere in the world," is how one hack described it.
For what it's worth, I would go so far as saying the website actually inhibits the development of devolution, and the sooner the techies do to it what video did to the radio star the better.
It must be more interactive and have as its guiding philosophy the potential to embarrass politicians as much as possible. With some moderation, I don't see why people should not be able to publicise forthcoming protests on the steps of the Senedd or give feedback on legisation. Constituents should be able to find out who their AM is, what she or he is doing and how much she or he earns at the click of a mouse.
On the latter, we're told that while being consulted, some members objected to the idea of their incomes being so advertised. How appalling. For good measure, I think website users should be able to scrutinise AMs' monthly expenses claims.

What's Welsh for Brown?

Spoke to broadcaster Patrick Hannan yesterday about Wales's Gordon Brown. Who is going to lead Welsh Labour when Rhodri Morgan steps down in 2009, or sooner if Labour get a thrashing at the ballot box in May?
Environment Minister Carwyn Jones has long been considered the natural successor. That assumption has been hanging around for so long now it's hard to remember why it first arose. He earned a good name for himself during the foot-and-mouth crisis, but that is a fast-receding memory.
One observer summed it up as "Carwyn is losing the PR battle".
Mr Jones has most recently been in the news because he is embroiled in a row about the Llanelli Scarlets which, the club claims, could spell the end of Wales's most iconic rugby club. In today's Daily Post he is the object of scorn for homeowners in the Conwy Valley who are dismayed at delayed flood defences.
Meanwhile, potential rival Andrew Davies, the Enterprise Minister, was writing in the Western Mail this week that devolution had precipitated a "revolution" in the way Wales views itself. Positively First Ministerial stuff from the overseer of the hated WDA's dissolution.
But Mr Jones arguably remains the best Cabinet performer. Tory AM Glyn Davies think so.
The other runners and riders include Education Minister Jane Davidson and Social Justice Minister Edwina Hart. Ms Davidson is thought to have given a good account of herself as a minister. I hear she's briefing London hacks on the success of devolved education now. Ms Hart however does not seem to like being in the public eye. Or maybe she just doesn't like hacks.
Alliances will be key. If either of these do not go for the top job then they could help candidates get crucial union support.
Cabinet members are not the only Labour AMs considering their futures. I think it's a bit early to talk of backbench leadership bids.
But a complaint I've heard that potential leaders should heed is "things have become too Cardiff-centric under Rhodri".
A question that might occupy high-command minds is what do grass-roots members in the Valleys and north Wales want done with these longed-for law-making powers?

Everyone seems to have a cold. I'm doing my best to avoid catching one.

The Assembly's audit committee was this morning told that if a civil servant is ill and goes home after 11am, it's not registered as a sick day.

Going ... going ... still going

Deputy Presiding Officer John Marek is standing down as House Committee chairman in his row with Presiding Officer Lord Elis-Thomas.
They have barely said more than "Good morning" to each other in the past year. No-one can remember why.
So why doesn't Dr Marek just resign, instead of persisting with his habit of dropping hints about an impending resignation?
Such as this in the Assembly today: "I am chairman of the House Committee and I will be for a few more days."
Is that a resignation? When is a resignation a resignation?

Yule be sorry

Alun Pugh's Christmas cards are great fun for us hacks. Unfortunately it's the sort of story that turns people off politics.
Not that this questionable expenditure on the services of m'learned friends should go unexposed.
The idea was to promote Welsh-language Scrabble and by extension the Assembly Government's strategy of coaxing the private sector into using Welsh, instead of passing laws forcing businesses to “siarad Cymraeg”.
This has been extremely successful and the game has sold out, Business Minister Jane Hutt told us in the Cabinet's press briefing today.
Someone made the excellent point that if you can no longer buy the game, what's the point of promoting it on a Christmas card?
Anyone seeking advice on copyright law is welcome to come up to the fourth floor and borrow my copy of McNae's Essential Law for Journalists.

Push it to the limit

Labour AM John Griffiths's mobile rang during a speech by Rhodri Morgan to launch his plan for Africa today.
Funny choice of ringtone. I haven't had a chance to check with him, so correct me if I'm wrong, but from the first couple of bars I could have sworn it was eighties synth-rock classic “Push it to the limit” from the film Scarface.
I think it's the music that accompanies a montage of cocaine dealer Tony Montana depositing sack-loads of money at the bank.

UPDATE Labour AMs did support that Plaid motion on hospitals (see Bound(ary) to happen). Clearly they're all Tiger Tales readers.

Bound(ary) to happen

There's an interesting story knocking about on the wire today. Labour is likely to lose a seat thanks to boundary changes next year, research from Plymouth University suggests.

Conwy has become Aberconwy and has lost Labour votes.

Denise Idris Jones beat Plaid Cymru's Gareth Jones there by just 72 votes in 2003. Based on that year's vote Mr Jones will win the seat back in May. A tricky NHS reconfiguration (yes, another one of those) has done him a favour.

There's a Plaid-tabled vote on this in the Assembly tomorrow saying: “The National Assembly believes that no reconfiguration of hospital services should take place without adequately planned community provision.”

Surely nothing controversial for Labour AMs to oppose there then.

Anyway, the complex maths of the Assembly's top-up member system means victory for Mr Jones would be curtains for Janet Ryder and would create another regional Tory AM in the north. So one more Tory - 12 - and the same number of Plaid AMs - 12.

This is all based on the idea that everyone who voted three years ago votes the same way and no-one else votes, which obviously won't happen.

Nevertheless, it goes to show that without a stupendous surge in votes for Plaid, Dafydd Wigley's chances of getting elected as a regional member puts one in mind of a cat in hell.

Nightmare scenario for Plaid really - Labour do badly, but only the Tories capitalise.